Couple of good, cloudy days ago Elis asked me if I really believe that everything happens for a reason? I tried to put on my wise-face, the one I pretend myself to have, when someone asks me a bearded philosophical question, that I have no answer to, but I always know that one day I’ll figure it out. My face probably said “yes,” but my brain screamed: “How on Earth would I know!” (rhetoric question, everybody). I gave her a good old “My child, everything happens for a reason,”response and hopped off, but I was determined to take the question with me and figure this one out. This is the conclusion I came to.
Life is a matter of perspective. Now this is something that is so awfully obvious, but often forgotten. Remember the concept of the half empty-half full glass, which, personally speaking, kills a piece of me every time someone brings it up? Well, your school counsellor was right, that’s how this is. Maybe life is chaotic and hectic and seldom makes sense, but ultimately all we can do is find the right perspective to look at it.
Or maybe you have chosen to believe that things happen for no reason, that life has just sent dirt (desperately avoided using the s-word in case my mom reads it) on your path and you have to live with it. However, in that case your Mondays (and other days of your week) look rather sad and dull. Congrats, on getting out of bed! Personally, it makes me rather helpless to view life this way, thus I refuse to drag myself down for the sake of my mental health.
However, the way I understand it is as follows: Everything does happen for a reason, even if the nonsense reason is to teach you a lesson or make you stronger, smarter, wiser. You grow when you get hurt. You learn, when things go wrong. Because we always remember the bad over the good. And it’s true, often negativity overruns the positivity, but you have to break some eggs to make the omelette. You have to sacrifice some in order to grow into someone bigger than you were before.
Another fact to support my idea is simply the way our brains work. I recently heard about a scientific experiment: a scientist put down every detail of his daily life for two years. Later when he was asked about his life in the past couple of years, he seemed to remember mostly positive things and forget the negative instances he had faced. Good times become good memories, bad times simply just very good lessons.I have realised that there’s a difference between learning and learning. Your mom, dad and grandma tell you how life is meant to be, what’s right and what’s wrong and you receive it and remember it, but it’s not learning, it’s merely remembering their words. To learn is to embrace. Before you have experienced the pain, heartache and sometimes the tears you have not fully embraced the lesson that your big pal life just taught you.
So in short, your life is ultimately in your own hands and although we often don’t hold any power over the life events, we are fully in charge of how we react to it and what we make out of it. With your chin up, heels high and smile on your face, take what life throws on your path and turn it into a useful experience. There is no wasted time, only lessons learnt.